Joseph Nowinski, Ph.D.: How Can Children Survive Divorce When Parents Play The 'Limits Game'?

"Daddy lets me eat in my room if I want to."

"I don't have a curfew when I'm at Mom's house."

"Mom doesn't make me clear my dinner plate!"

"Dad says it won't hurt me to eat donuts for breakfast."

Do any of the above comments sound familiar to you? If so, then welcome to the limits game. This is probably the most popular way that divorced parents undermine each another, turning their kids against the other parent, and generally stirring up trouble. The limits game is usually justified in a simple way: "When the kids are with me I get to parent them any way I want to."

Here is my advice to divorced parents: If you want to screw up your kids, then play the limits game as much as you can. On the other hand, if you want to give your kids a chance to emerge from the crisis that your divorce represents for them, then quit playing the limits game.

via Joseph Nowinski, Ph.D.: How Can Children Survive Divorce When Parents Play The 'Limits Game'?.