How caregiving bridged divorce gap
Sometimes, even after a divorce, a connection remains. And because of that connection, a responsibility.
Molly and Larry were married 20 years, had two children together and then split up. It was amicable.
They both lived in legendary Woodstock, N.Y.“We stayed friends,” says Molly. “More than friends really. We were very close. Our kids were grown, but they lived nearby and we’d have big family dinners together and celebrate the holidays.”
Both Larry and Molly had other partners, but neither remarried. “Sometimes, he’d bring one of his girlfriends over,” says Molly. “I’d pull out old pictures of him to show her as if I were his older sister or something.”
In 1997, when Larry was 59, he was diagnosed with lymphoma. “He came over and told me about it,” says Molly. “He wasn’t too worried. He said he was going to have chemo and the doctors said his chances were pretty good.”
Pretty soon things weren’t so good. “He’d have chemo, then an operation, then more chemo. You can imagine what that does to a person. He was pretty weak, and starting to need more and more care,” says Molly. (Names have been changed.)
It was during his third surgery that their relationship suddenly shifted. Molly was in the hospital and found herself sitting next to Joan, Larry’s live-in girlfriend at the time.“Joan was pretty upset,” Molly recalls. “She said she didn’t know how much longer she could take it. She told me she cared for him, but she hadn’t signed on to be his nurse.”
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